I HAVE BEEN invited to attend the wedding of a coworker whom I’ve just started to get to know within the past three months. Since I’m a single guy; I would be coming to the event alone. I haven’t met her friends or family; so I’m worried about feeling like an outsider. I fear I’ll end up being the proverbial wallflower. I like her, and I don’t want to offend her by not going.
It’s a great honor to be invited to a wedding, so we strongly encourage you to attend your coworker’s celebration. That the bride wants you to witness her special day is reason enough. One of the nice things about weddings is how easy it is to meet people there, as everyone tends to be in a joyful, gregarious frame of mind. We’re sure that if you make an effort to be open and engaging, you will have a wonderful time. You may even come away with some new friends.This is not to say anybody’s going to be pulling out. The top reasons why men pull away from a marriage are many fold.
I know we are expected to pay for the rehearsal dinner. My question is, who chooses the restaurant? We suggested one that we can afford, but the bride said no. The one she would prefer is too pricey. What is the proper etiquette for this situation? We are traveling out of town as it is.
Since you are paying for the rehearsal dinner, it is your prerogative to select the venue. Taking the bride’s feelings into account is a gracious gesture, but the final decision is yours. Since the concern is financial, perhaps you could strike a compromise by going with the more expensive restaurant but asking her to cut back significantly on the evening’s guest list. If you’d rather choose the place, explain to her firmly but gently that while you appreciate her input, the budget is not negotiable.
For the best man’s speech, it’s important for your husband to choose words that are heartfelt. As he and the groom have a strong friendship, he can mention some of the qualities he admires in him and talk about what a good husband he will be. While he shouldn’t misrepresent his feelings for the bride, perhaps he can say that it’s been a joy to see the groom fall in love, that marriage is a wonderful gift and that he wishes them all the best. For the gift, there is no need to stick to the registry. We suggest purchasing something that can be enjoyed by both of them.